[Fenna Diephuis]

I loved reading your reflections Dau! I too feel that challenge/burden of taking responsibility in relationships involving status power or role power for that matter. I’m seeing more glaringly how being raised in an authoritarian system (both church and state) has conditioned me to organize out my capacity to challenge systemic power as it comes through relationships I have, particularly angry wounded white men, and some angry white women. I am aware of my own power wounds clashing with theirs, and also vow to take note in day to day exchanges, practice Aikido! I love that reference!

My husband is great to practice with! He too has spent many years dismantling his own misogyny, but falls into the unconscious conditioning. He is open to hearing my feedback as I deliver it with all the skill I can muster. He is a consultant and often opens a group session on conflict resolution by saying that the definition of a dysfunctional team is two people.

I’m also feeling how complex power systems are, but take comfort in knowing that cultivating personal power is fundamental to effective collective power. As I move through a time when most of my energy has been focused on helping Dave through his recovery, I look forward to more and more engagement with my somatic abolitionism work, climate activism, and teaching RUOP. I love this class so much, the inspiration and compassion are palpable!